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every day is a winding road
Sunday, May 11, 2008
5:43PM
I leave tomorrow morning!
I have tons left to do. No joke. And the plane leaves in twelve hours... dear lord. I'm mad exhausted. Good, long day today. Church and everything!
I'll be back on the 30th but I'll probably post from down there. Don't expect much running. No, seriously. I probably wont be very disciplined.
I need to go and do this whole packing thing some more...
Hasta Luego.
This week:
5/4 3 mile run with conor
5/5 3 1/2 mile run with Amanda, 4 mile run with Conor
5/6 train with john, 3 mile run with amanda
5/7 3 mile run; train, 10 minute elliptical and 2 mile bike with mom
5/8 train with john, 4 1/2 mile run with conor
5/9 7 mile bike with mom
5/10 3 mile run with mom
Totals:
Running: 331 1/2 miles
Biking: 71 1/2 miles
Walking: 23 1/2 miles
Hiking: 16 miles
Stairs: 25 minutes
Weight sessions: 24
Elliptical: 365 minutes/41 miles
Other: abs class, body boarding, snowboarding
Friday, May 9, 2008
9:15AM - Changes
So I got a letter that changed my summer plans a bit. From Willamette, offering me a free pilot course. I show up two weeks early and work my damn ass off (class from nine to five every day). Criminal law, mainly. Two professors. Finals, the whole shebang. Which means I'll only be at summer camp for six weeks. Makes me horrendously sad. Nonetheless, its not something that I should turn away from. It could really help me get a step up, which I definently feel like I need right now. So I already worked it out with Becky. I just need to get the (incredibly informal) application in the mail soon.
This also means that I wont be going on any family vacations. I wont be going to Glacier, even though I planned the trip. I wont be going to Idaho to hike Hells Canyon and hang out in McCall. It makes my heart hurt, but I guess this stuff is whats supposed to be more important. I just damn well better have a good summer despite all these setbacks. I might try to do wekend trips anyways. We'll see if I have any energy in my bones at the end of the day.
I leave Monday for the big trip. I'm excited/scared/anxious/jittery/expectant/a
I need to get to work. Shoot.
Saturday, May 3, 2008
4:17PM - weekly running log
This week..
4/27 Day off
4/28 4 1/2 mile run with conor, 5 mile run with amanda
4/29 3 mile run with conor, 4 1/2 mile hike with trav
4/30 4 mile run with conor
5/1 training with john, 4 mile run with conor
5/2 3 mile run with amanda
5/3 5 1/2 mile run with conor
Totals:
Running: 307 1/2 miles
Biking: 62 1/2 miles
Walking: 23 1/2 miles
Hiking: 16 miles
Stairs: 25 minutes
Weight sessions: 21
Elliptical: 355 minutes/40 miles
Other: abs class, body boarding, snowboarding
So I ran 29 miles even with my day off. That makes me feel much better. I know I'm probably going to slack when I go on vacay (only nine days left!) so I want to have more now... plus, its nice to know that I still can go decent distances. RAther, that I can do it again. The ankle is still funny, still hurts after a day of standing on it, managed to snap (shooting pain up my calf) three times while hiking... but I can use it without constant fear of breaking it. I'm still careful when going on or off curbs, leaping and jumping are a no no... but I'm doing SOOOO much better than I was. I'm feeling so much better. A little bit of confidence is creeping back into my blood.
Yesterday I went to work at 10:30 (I opened the store). Left at one thirty. Went running, showered and headed back. Got there a bit before four. Worked until eleven. By the end of the night I was tired and grumpy. I came home and got four hours of sleep (woken up by Angel). Got Angel off on his day, got ready for mine and went to work in an exhausted state. Wiping tears out of my eyes type of exhausted miserable state. BUT! Mike offered to get me coffee from starbucks. Kyrie wasn't so... controlling. Chris came up and hugged me when he saw me. Guests kept telling me how wonderful our restaurant was. Kids kept hugging me and holding my hand. Berti kept saying "I love you". I had a fun time. My manager bought me lunch. I took off with a huge smile on my face and a lovely attitude. Now, mind you, Starbucks always makes me a nicer person. But it was really nice to feel like work actually put me in a better mood. So I came home and went running. Overall, today has been good.
Travis has his first show this evening (about 12 of his pictures and 12 of his mother's are being hung at Mon Ami this month- tonight is the opening) so that'll be fun. Once he realizes its supposed to be fun. My parents are coming home tonight. Thank goodness. I work again tomorrow. Happy.
I need a damn shower.
Friday, May 2, 2008
8:22AM - love?
Do you ever look around and wonder how the hell you ended up where you currently are? How you managed to live through those god-awful middle and high school years that changed your appearance more than a chameleon.... How you ended up not dying from the dumb things you did or killing others over the inhumane things they did....
I do.
I look into the eyes of the one that loves me, see the sparkle that shines only for me, and wonder Why me?.... How did him and I end up together? Do we have enough in common to stay together for a while or is the lack of overlapping interests going to cause a decline in our interest in each other? Is his constant need to take pictures while hiking going to get so under my skin that I end up walking away? Is his constant fear that I've slept with every boy I know going to drive him so crazy that he has to walk away from me for his own sanity? What about how he comments on my family, knowing all the players and the situations, and how that makes my blood boil especially with how many issues he has with his own family.....
But then I look up into his eyes again and see pure love. I see appreciation for the little things I do which would've gone unnoticed with almost anyone in the past. I see a willingness to learn, to try and understand, to develop himself so that he can stand on his own two feet without needing me as a crutch. I see ambition and talent and warmth behind those eyes. He takes every bit of me and loves it, no matter how crazy or emotional or analytical. He never asks me to change, doesn't forbid me from moving away, and talks of our future.
When he says marriage, my mind screams a little. It starts going over everything I've ever thought of as commitment. It thinks about the past and who was a part of it. Who I thought I would have a relationship with, who I didn't have any clue about being so close. Who I handed my heart to and who I forced to take it. Who I never allowed near me for various reasons and all the things I've done to protect myself from getting hurt. I've given so much to this relationship. I keep giving and giving, as does he. But sometimes, when I'm alone at home, I cry and the tears aren't for him. I mourn the loss of friends and more-than-friends. A couple times recently, a memory will come sharply into view at the wrong moment and its all I can do to keep smiling and pretend like it isn't there when he's watching so I can wait for him to fall asleep and try to contain my distress. Sometimes I feel like I'm being followed by the ghosts of my past. I hear a similar voice or see a similar face. I close my eyes and can feel the wrong arms embracing me. It isn't just one person either. It was those that really mattered to me. While very few still, ...
It isn't fair to him. It isn't fair to me. I want to be hypnotized so I can't remember how it used to be. I want to forget kind words and getting through hard times with someone else. I want to forget stolen kisses and insights to my life that they've provided. None of them were remotely right for me. I know that. It isn't a question, the question is whether this situation is the right one for me.
I question it more when I'm away from him.
I question everything a lot when we fight. We argue a lot.
When he's next to me, holding my hand as we hike through the rain, it doesn't seem like much of a choice. When e're sleeping next to each other and I wake up to him softly snoring or moving about a little, it makes me smile and fall back to sleep happy and comforted.
I don't know if I'm the kind of person that ever comes up with a definitive answer when it comes to matters of the heart.
contemplativeSaturday, April 26, 2008
10:29AM - sunny days wasted away
I'm at home. By myself. For the first time in what seems like months. No one expected home for hours upon hours. I work, but not for another five or six hours. What should I do? Should I get a nap since my body seems exhausted? Do I continue reading Pillars of the earth so I'll be done before I leave? Do I leave the house and go walking by myself or try to run some more? Do I head up to the cabin for a couple of hours to enjoy the weather? You know, the only reason I'm not already back in bed is because of the weather. Its so beautiful (and it wont be past today) that I feel like I should take advantage or our 65+ degree weather. How often do we get wonderful sunny days with (almost) open afternoons? Never. Shoot. I want to hike or go rock climbing. I want to grab a friend and drive up the gorge for a picnic and adventures. I want to lay in the sun (much warmer sun) and feel it warm my skin, feel the ecstacy enter my bloodstream and the euphoria that clouds my mind. I want to eat ice cream and laugh with people I love.
I really want it to be summer.
Granted, this summer I'll be working a 9-5 for the first time in my life. For a kids day camp of all things. But I'll have every weekend off. I'll be off by dinnertime each night. I'll be playing in the sun- with a whole bunch of kids. It'll be good for me.
I think I am going to quit the day job before then. I was going to change my availability but I'm getting sick of the drama. I'm getting tired of being the happiest person there and being everyone's best friend- their shoulder to cry on when they sleep with the wrong coworker. I'm tired of working my ass off and never feeling like I'm reaping the benefits of labor. So I think I'll quit soon. Sad, I know. Not really but you know, I'm supposed to think so. Maybe I'll even take a week off before I start the daycamp so I can feel like I have a couple weeks to unwind and be all summer-ish. Maybe not, the money can't hurt. Plus, having somewhere to go during the day gives me purpose.
Enough rambling. Sorry kids.
4/20 3 mile run with con
4/21 4 1/2 mile run with con
4/22 training with John, 3 1/2 mile run with con
4/23 Nothing. (supposed to hike, yucky weather)
4/24 4 mile run with con, training with John
4/25 5 1/2 mile run (by myself)
4/26 3 1/2 mile run
Totals:
Running: 278 1/2
Biking: 62 1/2
Walking: 23 1/2
Hiking: 11 1/2
Stairs: 25 minutes
Weight sessions: 20
Elliptical: 355 minutes/40 miles
Other: abs class, body boarding, snowboarding
coldSunday, April 20, 2008
8:52AM - effing a
I took yesterday off and I seriously feel large and gross and yucky today. I think I'm just having a bad body image day.... Plus my insides seem to want to vomit whatever I ate for dinner last night... which is... awesome? Or not at all. So I feel like hurting things right this minute.
This week:
4/13 run 4 1/4 miles with con
4/14 training with john, 3 1/4 mile run with con
4/15 3 mile run with con
4/16 7 1/2 mile hike with trav
4/17 4 1/2 mile run with con, training with john
4/18 3 mile run with con, 3 mile run with amanda, 3 mile bike/5 min stairs/training with mom
4/19 day off
Totals:
Running: 254 1/2
Biking: 62 1/2
Walking: 23 1/2
Hiking: 11 1/2
Stairs: 25 minutes
Weight sessions: 18
Elliptical: 355 minutes/40 miles
Other: abs class, body boarding, snowboarding
Life outside of exercise:
Trav and I are doing pertty good. He's been sweet, we haven't been fighting as much, we've enjoyed spending time together and I'm currently making sure I get at least one day off a week with him so we can hike and hang out.
Work is fine. I pick up extra shifts so I can actually make money. I wont be there much longer which is weird to me... but oh well. The kids are nice and funny. I enjoy being there most days.
My parents are getting on another plane today. Gone for another two weeks. When I was younger, I actually looked forward to their trips. Now I dread them. I become super responsible. I take care of Angel most of the time, help Conor fight his demons, keep Mikey in line and try to balance my own life in there. While keeping the house clean and feeding people. Its not just the added responsibility. I feel like I'm growing apart from my parents and I don't like it. I miss them when I don't hang out with them much and I rarely seem to see them much anymore. Especially on an individual basis. Sometimes I just want to hike with my dad or bike/lunch with mom. I know I'm growing up, I get that whole thing... but my parents are some of my best friends and I feel like they're pushing me out of the nest.
I've got a day to get started.
Monday, April 14, 2008
8:19AM - again, with the keeping track.
Today is long.
I'm about to run, then go to training and head from there to work where I'm scheduled from 10:30 to 10 (two different shifts and a meeting in between). Then most likely crawling back into bed. Yeah. Awesome.
Good news is I have three days off this week, two actually being the same as Travis so we can do some hiking. Good shit.
Yeah.
And stuff.
Last week...
4/6 4 mile run with con
4/7 3 1/4 mile run with con
4/8 training with john, 3 mile run (by myself)
4/9 2 1/2 mile bike and training with mom, 4 1/4 mile run with con
4/10 3 1/2 mile run with con
4/11 3 1/4 mile run with con, training with john
4/12 day off (to go to Salem for the day)
Totals
Running: 233 3/4 miles
Biking: 59 1/2 miles
Walking: 23 1/2 miles
Hiking: 4 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 15
Elliptical: 355 minutes (almost 6 hours or about 40 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding, Snow boarding
sleepyTuesday, April 8, 2008
7:02PM - Grahhhhg
No more fighting. Seriously. I don't have a boyfriend so I can lose sleep, get mad and argue for hours.
Sorry Tyler. Glad I saw you. Hope you're willing to hang out with me again.
Almost time to pick up my parents. I missed them.
Work was lame.
Staying awake is hard.
I want to just chill for a couple days.
Shitty pop music stuck in my head.
I took way too many pictures of that baby last night. Oh well.
I need to get dressed....
but I don't really want to.....
Bah.
tiredSunday, April 6, 2008
10:33AM
I skipped out again. Every other week seems to be the norm... okay, so two weeks...
3/23 Nothing
3/24 4 mile run with conor
3/25 3 1/2 mile run with conor
3/26 3 mile run with conor
3/27 3 1/2 mile run with conor
3/28 nothing
3/29 nothing
3/30 3 1/2 mile run with conor
3/31 3 1/2 mile run with conor
4/1 4 mile run with conor
4/2 3 mile run with conor, 4 mile hiking with trav
4/3 3 mile run with amanda, training session with John Smith (new trainer)
4/4 4 mile run and 1 mile walk with amanda, 3 mile run and 1/2 mile walk with conor
4/5 nothing
Totals
Running: 212 1/2 miles
Biking: 57 miles
Walking: 23 1/2 miles
Hiking: 4 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 12
Elliptical: 355 minutes (almost 6 hours or about 40 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding, Snow boarding
I'm obviously still way behind where I want to be right now in terms of mileage but I know I can press harder and add on a bit. The three days in a row of multi-things was kinda hard on my body so I took yesterday off. Oh well.
I'm also working every day this coming week, so I have to really make time for things. It'll all work out, I'm sure. I want to hike a bunch more. By myself and with others. I'm having Travis "train" for hiking but... yeah. I want to actually push limits sometime soon. Maybe I'll find a day off and work my ass off to get up to the trails.
I'm mad at myself for not making it up to the mountain more this year. I went once. Horrendously pathetic. Maybe I can squeeze in another time this week. Even night boarding. Shoot. I just hate not getting any better.
This weather is pissing me off. Seriously. My headaches are still an every day thing.
Back to getting things accomplished....
anxiousFriday, March 28, 2008
10:02AM - Sweeeeeet
I love trip planning. Money woes are scary. But 18 days in central america= definently worth it. Trav and I are flying into Belize on May 12th and coming back from Nicaragua on May 30th. I'm super excited. I've read the guide book way too much so I have a ton on my to-do list down there. Scuba dive, hike volcanoes, see wildlife, kayak in lakes, see sharks and dolphins, visit markets and cathedrals, see ancient ruins... I'm pretty much really excited. If I did my math right, by the time I go down there I will have made enough money to pay off my plane ticket (on a credit card currently) and have all the money I'll need for down there.
What the fuck was up with the snow? It canceled a running date. Oh well. I'm sure work will kick my ass anyways.
Parents are in Amsterdam for two weeks. Holy hell. Taking care of the kid but his "real mom" is getting him tonight and taking him for nine days. Thats like a whole year of parenting for her! Lets hope they both survive this one.
This summer will be a good one.
excitedSaturday, March 22, 2008
6:24PM - Yea...
So I didn't wrie last week. I was absent minded. So, for two weeks....
3/9 4 1/2 mile run
3/10 4 mile run
3/11 3 1/2 mile run
3/12 3 1/2 mile run with con
3/14 walk two miles with Trav
3/15 4 mile bike and arm weights with mom
3/16 5 mile run with dad (shamrock run)
3/17 no. Drink- day.
3/18 not quite. (made at self and Jessica, decide to eat instead)
3/19 3 1/2 mile run with conor, 3 1/2 mile bike and arms with mom
3/20 5 mile run, 1 mile walk with amanda
3/21 1 mile walk with Kev (drove to Seattle and back)
3/22 4 mile run with conor, 3 1/2 mile bike and arms with mom
Totals
Running: 174 1/2 miles
Biking: 57 miles
Walking: 22 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 11
Elliptical: 355 minutes (almost 6 hours or about 40 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding, Snow boarding
So, this week I was talked to about losing weight by someone who has recently lost fifty pounds. I hate this girl. Haven't seen her in nine months because of that fact. Told boyfriend I'd play nice. But she didn't. So I'm done. She kept telling me that she knows I can do it if I really want to since I finally have a good man by my side. I need to stop making excuses and just get on with it because I'll feel so much better. Stupid whore. I told her I exercise a whole bunch and her response? "Yeah, but we both know you don't eat as well as you should and you said yourself that you still drink". I fucking have a couple beers once a week. Stupid.
So I'm now over it, I swear. Almost. Just pissed I let it get to me for so long.
I'm getting closer to decent with the running. The ankle strangely still hurts a lot, but without ever sitting around, I guess I can see why. I want to bump it all up a notch this week.
Awesome.
Work is on my nerves... what else is new? Not enough hours, too many days working... Its all irrelevant.
I went to Seattle for the day yesterday. Six and a half hours of driving, not counting around the city. TO see my cousin from Cornell and two of his friends. It was fun. I love that kid. Smarter than shit though. Working on bio-medical engineering: developing tissue from synthetic materials for ligaments, kidneys, and the like. Going to go for his doctorate soon. Nuts. Fun to see him act like a kid.
I want to...
I'm going over to Trav's mom's tonight to hang out and look at pictures and such.
I'm tired.
Beautiful day. Seriously.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
7:07PM - good.
Things I LOVE (in random order):
My car, It's pretty, its comfy, it fits me perfectly. The seats warm up and the music plays loud. I like the windows down, I like the whole damn thing. It makes me really happy. Makes me want to take road trips.
My family. They support me to no end and push me to make things better for myself when I'm too insecure to do so myself. They make me fight and they're behind me all the time. I couldn't do it without them.
My running shoes. You're supposed to switch every four months but I love them so much. I love that they breatha and feel like feet and work with me, not against me. I love them and might never retire them.
My boyfriend. Unconditional love, constant attention and yet allowing me to do anything and everything I want and need to. Honestly cares about me and loves me, has let me into all parts of his heart. 13 months strong.
Coffee. Delicious. Wakes me up and makes me less apologetic.
Sleep. The way to totally unwind, forget about anything bad thats happened and start completely fresh. Breathing, happy. Especially now that I don't have nightmares for weeks on end.
My paper journal. Lets me write our frusterations, moral dillemas and the like without any judging. Only piece of mind. Also, the one I have now is half lined, half blank, so tons of room to draw and doodle when I can't form sentances.
The rain. Makes me feel new and fresh with a clear mind. Especially when I'm already running and it starts. Fantastic. Love fresh rain on a bustling city. It calms it down and drowns out the excess noise.
My big knee high boots. Lace up, one of my stand-by feel good things. Put 'em on and feel good and powerful. Love them to death (had them four or more years already).
My manager. She's actually a good person. She speaks Spanish fluently and is really freaking cool. She fixed things today within two minutes of me complaining. She isvery business oriented and is freaking cool.
Showers. Hot water. Soap, burn, clean, steam, breathe, scrub, smooth.
Running. Feeling powerful. Pushing limits. Breaking down my personal barriers. Going faster. Sprinting uphill. Feeling healthy. Not feeling the constant urge to shove face. Destress.
Traveling. Anywhere. Anytime. Experiencing new things. Trying new languages. Adapting to new environments. Seeing things I've never seen before.
I could go on for awhile. Good mood. Endorphines.
Saturday, March 8, 2008
1:21PM - euphoric. I love endorphines.
This week was way better for me in terms of working out. Thank goodness.
3/2 3 mile run, 1/2 mile walk with conor
3/3 3 1/2 mile run with con, arm workout and 4 mile bike with mom
3/4 3 1/2 mile run by myself
3/5 3 1/2 mile run with con
3/6 3 1/2 mile run with con
3/7 3 mile run with con
3/8 3 1/2 mile run with con
Totals
Running: 141 1/2 miles
Biking: 46 miles
Walking: 18 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 8
Elliptical: 355 minutes (almost 6 hours or about 40 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding, Snow boarding
Next week we're going to up the milage and maybe I can get closer to back on track. Shoot. I'm getting a lot stronger. My ankle doesn't feel so needy anymore. Slowly but surely its healing. Still hurts like a bitch somedays but such is life.
Work is fine. Unfulfilling but fun at best, chaotic and detrimental to my mental health at worst. Not enough money, weird hours. Friendly and strange people. Nice to constantly be praised for the simple act of being a decent human being and having work ethic. Crazy people.
Getting more excited about next year. Not even next year. Five months from now. Exciting! I can't wait to get everything situated. I think we're even going to try to manage Glacier somehow. I'll move in beforehand and fly back if need be. Hells yeah. I'm excited. New computer. New apartment (which I can keep clean since I wont have roommates!). New people- probably ones better for my mental state since some of the people I regularly see now actually make me feel dumber ("Oh my God, Brighid, you, like, disappeared for a few minutes and we totally didn't klow what to do!" ~my coworker who has worked there as long as I have).
Sweeeet. Shower, movie with family, relax and smile.
Thursday, March 6, 2008
10:31AM - misconstrued
I work like a crazy. Yesterday was an 11- 10 shift with a strange three hour break to eat lunch with Travis at McMenamins. I went back to work buzzed. I was much nicer to everyone. It was fun. Today I have off. So I haven't gotten dressed yet. Or showered or ran or anything of importance.
We want to take a trip. A big one. To far away places. I think it'll put me in debt forever though. I want to have money in a bank account and I'm not sure this is the way to do it. I know it isn't. Its just so fun to jump on a plane with a big backpack and have two weeks to do whatever in a foreign country. Seriously. We might have issues with the camera thing though... we'll see. I just don't want to sit around the whole time while he plays with pictures. I know, I'm a jerk. I just like experiencing things though. A lot of the places I've been wouldn't be so magical if thousands of people had pictures of those places.
I only have until August to make money anyways. I like my job (honestly) and am having fun with new people. I just... yeah. Need to find a happy point.
Jumbled thoughts. Sorry.
Maybe I need to hike by myself tomorrow. I wanted Conor to go with me today... but tomorrow maybe I'll set out by myself for some thinking time. Go up Hamilton or some other such beautiful place. Hiking boots and brace for ankle, obviously.
I miss not thinking. Like Tom said, slightly stupider and much happier or really smart and always sad. I can be smart next year, when it counts. Like I'll actually be able to turn off my brain while its screaming all day long about the things I should be doing, things I need to accomplish, places I'd rather be, and the people I really miss. Get those four things out of my head and I might actually be able to be productive.
I think I need a shower.
Saturday, March 1, 2008
7:39PM - good, bad, ugly.
This Week
2/24 nothing.
2/25 2 1/2 mile run with conor
2/26 2 1/2 mile run with conor
2/27 nothing (too sick)
2/28 2 1/2 mile run with conor
2/29 3 1/2 mile run with amanda plus 1/2 mile walk
3/1 Nothing
Totals
Running: 118 miles
Biking: 42 miles
Walking: 17 1/2 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 7
Elliptical: 355 minutes (almost 6 hours or about 40 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding, Snow boarding
So I'm way behind. I had the flu and my ankle seems to not want to heal. I'm getting frusterated and mean. I don't like it very much.
I got into Willamette so I'm almost a hundred percent sure I'll go there. Nice campus, not too far from home. Went down to visit and sit in on a class. That was nice. They gave me the letter there, they held it instead of sent it in the mail (I love Carolyn). They're also giving me a $10,000 scholorship per year, as long as I maintain a 2.9. Awesome. Parents are a lot more stoked about this one since its on this side of the country.
Also... I'm making a blanket! I decided to start today since I have too much time on my hands when I'm not working. I literally need to be moving my hands more. It makes me feel better. That and Travis wants one. Nerd. I know.
I'm fucking exhausted. Damn.
tiredSaturday, February 23, 2008
5:17PM - weekly update....
The law school is in Minneapolis. Its a private Catholic school (although only 30 % of the students are Catholic). Its name is University of St. Thomas. Small school (160 allowed each year) and has a good immigration program. Talked to Travis about it a little and he's okay with it, although he'd obviously like me to be closer to home. Parents are stoked though.
Also, going to be a trainer at Red Robin. Fun fun.
Weekly:
2/17 2 mile run with conor and dad at cabin (twisted ankle three times)
2/18 2 mile run with conor
2/19 2 1/4 mile run with conor
2/20 3 1/2 mile run with conor
2/21 snowboarding with mom, dad, and conor and 1 1/2 mile walk with dogs
2/22 2 1/2 mile run
2/23 3 1/2 mile run
Totals
Running: 107 miles
Biking: 42 miles
Walking: 17 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 7
Elliptical: 355 minutes (almost 6 hours or about 40 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding, Snow boarding
groggyFriday, February 22, 2008
4:23PM
I finally got accepted to a law school. One that isn't crappy or anything. Its just really far away. So we'll see. At least I got in somewhere.... Shoot.
Monday, February 18, 2008
8:04PM - Exercise? Please. I wish I could.
Couple days late. Whoops. Super busy.
2/10 40 minutes on elliptical
2/11 30 minutes on elliptical
2/12 4 mile bike and arm weights
2/13 30 minutes on elliptical
2/14 1 3/4 mile run with conor
2/15 Nothing
2/16 40 minutes on elliptical
Totals
Running: 92 1/4 miles
Biking: 42 miles
Walking: 15 1/2 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 7
Elliptical: 355 minutes (almost 6 hours or about 40 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding
Work is kicking my ass. Lots of hours, so exhausting. My ankle isn't fully healed yet (by any means, still gimping around). The work isn't hard... I just wish the other girls were more... intelligent. Older. Had some common sense.
Getting sick. Sucks. Phlegm everywhere. Scratchy throat (simultaniously losing my voice). Shitty. Capital S.
sickSaturday, February 9, 2008
10:00PM - need a good foot.
Well, I'm still broken and limping around a whole bunch. Boo. But, on the upswing, I did get on the elliptical this week. Not running, but something. It keeps track of your speed and milage and all that (I average to 6.7 miles per hour on the damn thing).
2/3 Nothing (day we got back from cruise)
2/4 Nothing (swollen ankle)
2/5 40 minutes on elliptical plus arm workout ( I felt pathetic) (dentist day)
2/6 Nothing (day at doctor)
2/7 70 minutes on elliptical (punishment?)
2/8 45 minutes on elliptical
2/9 60 minutes on elliptical
So, my rather pathetic totals, which hopefully will be in the upswing this coming week...
Totals....
Running: 90 1/2 miles
Biking: 38 miles
Walking: 15 1/2 miles
Stairs: 20 minutes
weight Sessions: 6
Elliptical: 215 minutes (3 1/2 hours or about 24 miles)
Other: Abs Class, Body boarding
So. Sweet. Or something. Something for sure.
Started work today. Not so exciting. Oh well. It'll be a paycheck.
Got to leave a house full of drunks for another house full of drunks. I'msoexcitedithurts.
crankyFriday, February 8, 2008
8:27AM - Damn book got me thinking
I finished reading a book, I Hope They serve Beer in Hell (by Max Tucker), which I knew was going to be offensive. With the brothers I have and previous literature I've chosen to read, the book wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. Mind you, this dude is an asshole and really does deserve to go to hell for a few of the things he wrote about....
But something in one of his chapters hit me like a frying pan to the face. He was talking about how some women allow themselves to be treated like absolute shit. Its not the man that is horrible, its the fact that the woman allowed him to behave in that way. If you demand respect then you will either receive it or the man will move on. I know it seems silly and basic, but it makes me realize a lot of things about my past and what I was willing to put up with. I never understood how basically good guys could rip my heart apart and throw it away like it was nothing, all the while I offered them everything of myself.
I'm really happy that the boyfriend I have right now chose to respect me, chose to be a kind-hearted person who doesn't take advantage. I hadn't learned my lesson before he came along, but he didn't make me regret anything. Its really nice to be with someone that honestly wants to be with you. I just wish that I had read this book five or six or eight years ago. It would have saved a lot of heartache... and a lot of money.
Not everyone took advantage to the fullest of their ability, but one person in particular stands out as taking the trophy by acting like a sweet, funny, caring douche bag who did what he wanted and hurt a lot of people. I haven't seen him in a really long time and am really glad that circumstances pushed us really far apart. Unhealthy self esteem vaccuum. Just what every girl needs.
I think most young girls make the same mistake I did with trusting others to treat you in a respectable manner, just because you treat them that way. Its really shitty that the world doesn't work in this way, but at least I learned it at some point in my lovely little lifetime. Before I ended up with a total jerk.
I think its true of female relationships, either with another female or with a man. I've seen a lot of guys get hurt by shitty girls that hadn't been taught proper decency. I've also been through my share of failed friendships where I came out feeling like a used tampon.
Don't let anyone treat you like shit. Apparently you need to demand respect and acceptance from everyone in your life in order to be treated in a way that wont diminish your soul. Its been a long time coming.
Now if only I could demand respect from law schools....
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